Six Degrees of St Patrick

Morning all. And happy St Patrick’s Day to you.

You know that thing ‘Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon’? It’s where you can link any actor to the aforementioned Hollywood star 6 steps or less. The same is also true of St Patrick and any Irish player who has appeared in an Arsenal shirt. Don’t believe me? Watch.

1 – St Patrick

A nomadic lad, some people say he was Welsh like Aaron Ramsey or that lad who turned into Brian Clough in that film about Brian Clough, but the fact is one day he turned up in Ireland. He probably got the ferry from Holyhead and went overboard on the cans of Harp, and to save his blushes he pretended to be Irish.

“Oi sware, O’m on Orishman troo and troo” he said, before taking things just too far.

2 – Snakes

In all the ‘St Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland’ stuff, little mention is given to the lives he ruined by doing that. First, the snakes themselves. They were having a grand time, not really bothering anyone, just slithering along in the grass. It’s not like we had Pythons or Anacondas or any other kind that might star in a film with that guy who used to be in Beverly Hills 90210 or something. Just the little ones who were quite happy to mind their own business.

Secondly, he ruined the snake adjacent economy. The snake pet food shops went out of business. The snake-skin boot emporiums all had to close. Not to mention the damage it did to the hospitality industry. Everyone thinks ‘Oooh, Japan is so amazing with their sushi’, and I’m not doing them down. It’s delicious. But you get your nice bit of eel nigiri and think you’re so sophisticated, but we had snake on mashed potatoes and it was a staple up and down the land.

Without their key ingredient, many restaurateurs simply had to emigrate.

3 – Planes

Ok, there weren’t planes back then, because gravity hadn’t been invented yet, but boats were the planes of the time. Some fleeing Irish people headed across the Atlantic, and going against the wishes…

Source link : https://arseblog.com/2024/03/six-degrees-of-st-patrick/

Author : arseblog

Publish date : 2024-03-17 08:31:19

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