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I woke up late.
Just a few weeks ago, I discovered an amazing thing about my phone. When my alarm went off, if I said ‘Stop!’ it would stop. And if I said ‘Snooze!’ it would snooze and go off again 9 minutes later. I love those 9 minute intervals.
9 minutes in which you can have the most elaborate, complicated dreams. Then your alarm goes off again and you say either ‘Stop!’ or ‘Snooze!’ again. For years, I had no idea this was even a thing (Android, btw, I’m sure iPhone has something similar). I was a manual guy. Reaching my arm out of bed to swipe either left (snooze) or right (stop). Reaching. Swiping. The stuff of peasants once you realise your voice has all the power.
Then, out of nowhere, it just stopped working. ‘Stop!’ I would say, and it would not stop. It didn’t matter how I said it, how often I said it, how loud I said it. Nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Goddam nothing. Same with ‘Snooze!’. No effect. The alarm would just keep playing. I don’t know why.
It’s like the universe has played a cruel trick on me. It gave me something good, then it took it away. And yes, I tried all the stuff. I deleted my alarms and recreated them. I set the ‘voice commands’ to off then back the other way. You know, I worked in tech support for some years, I understand the basic rule of technology is to turn something off then turn it on again. This fixes 98% of all problems, and that is a scientific fact*.
My alarm, by the way, is this. If you can make it all the way through to where the beat kicks in, you’re in some heavy duty sleep. Basically a coma-adjacent situation. But anyway, this morning it didn’t go off for some reason. I know I didn’t shout ‘Stop!’ or ‘Snooze!’ because, as I have clearly outlined above, that no longer works. Which, by the way, I find extremely vexing because I absolutely hate when something doesn’t work the way I expect it to.
I can’t really explain it but to me the most frustrating thing in all…
Source link : https://arseblog.com/2024/09/stupid-universe/
Author : arseblog
Publish date : 2024-09-30 07:46:12
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